The above title says it all. No matter how hard we tried our best to understand guys nowadays, there is always a part that we are still confused with them, and not knowing what they really want from us, girls.

Curious with everything that i've just say? Wanna know why? Here it goes ...

Im blessed with a loving boyfriend. So far, we have absolutely no problem at all. Except for stupid little arguments and fights somewhere along the way. Since he is still in NS, he is being flexible with me. Now, what do i mean by flexible? (Take note that im not bragging or showing off about how good my boyfriend is. Im just sharing my experience with everyone.)

I intefered the conversation by pretending to answer a phone call. After i 'ended' the phone call, i went back to him. And he continued his conversation.

Him: You feel restricted to do anything with any guy because you're attached?
Me: What anything?
Him: Those hanky-panky stuffs?

That was rude of him saying such things to me. I replied him by giving him my fake smile. Since i refused to 'entertain' him, he decided to go home. It was not even an hour the moment he wanted to leave.

The next day, i called up my boyfriend and shared about what happen to him. He laughed so hard and even told me that he was suprised guys like Boy still exist in this world.

Already get my whole point? Confusing isn't it? Where's all the Gentleman gone to? *Shakes head*

So, what's your say?

Crushing over the same guy.
- Topic suggestion by Passerby.

Yes. It is indeed very frustrating when you and your friend are crushing over the same guy. What should you do when you are in this kind of situation? Give in? Or fight for your crush?

This is a tough one. Be it your crush likes you more than your friend or vice versa. Good and true friends are hard to find and you should never end a friendship over a crush. If she is otherwise a good friend you need to buck up and treat this as one of those unfair hands that life sometimes deals. The truth of the matter is that you and this guy were never an item and throwing away a friendship over a crush is just sad.

Trust in relationships.
- Topic suggestion by Passerby.

We have posted about "Trust" before (http://no-controversy.blogspot.com/2010/02/trust_20.html). Nevertheless, we are going to post about this once again because we felt that trust is one of the most important factor in building a relationship.

No matter the type of relationship, be it romantic, friendly, or between parent and child, an essential ingredient is trust. Trust defines every interaction in a relationship. It builds intimacy and it strengthens bonds. Without trust no relationship can thrive. Unfortunately people don’t always cherish trust the way that they should. Because it is often given freely at first it is also easily taken for granted. When trust has been damaged it can spell doom for a relationship and it can be very hard, if not impossible, to earn back.

Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged and how much the spurned person feels betrayed. If you have had your trust betrayed then you know how hard it can be to let go, move on and fix the relationship. More often than not the burned person just wants to cut their losses and end the relationship, and who could blame them?

But if you do want to repair the damage, if you want to salvage the relationship and rebuild trust, there are some steps you need to follow. While the person who damaged the trust has their work cut out for them in earning it back the person who was hurt also has a job to do. So how do you move past a major burn and put things back on track? It’s hard but it can be done and these three pointers can help.

1. Let your anger out.

- In a quest to save a relationship people who have been hurt often bend over backwards to please their betrayer. Why? Because when we have been betrayed or burned the person who hurts us has sent a clear message that on some level we don’t matter to them as much as they matter to us. In a rebound state of fear of loss this often translates in to the hurt party trying to earn back the other person’s good opinion. It is a knee-jerk reaction and always ends in resentment. The best way to start the healing process is to acknowledge that there has been pain, betrayal and a loss of trust.

2. Resolve to let it out and then let it go.

- Once you let your feelings out you need to let the incident go. This does not mean blind forgiveness, but there is an element of forgiveness involved in this step. If the person who hurt you apologizes and you accept then you need to never rehash the incident. Doing so will only bring back your anger and keep you in emotional limbo. Don’t bring it up as a weapon. Don’t hold it over the other person every time you feel wronged in the future. Acknowledge that it happened, make your feelings and expectations known, and then stop focusing on what damaged the trust and set your sights on rebuilding. You’re only human, you may slip up and throw the incident in the face of your betrayer and if you do don’t beat yourself up over it, apologize and move on. While this step may seem like letting the person who hurt you get off easy in reality you are making things easier on your self by allowing yourself to be hurt and moving past it.

3. Know that things can never go back to the way they once were and keep your eyes wide open to the future betrayals.

- The sad reality is that once trust has been damaged it can’t simply go back to the way it once was, no matter how much both parties may want it to. People who do not value trust enough to respect it in the first place more often than not continue that pattern in the future. This doesn’t mean that it is a waste of time trying to rebuild trust it just means that the new trust has to be different. Call it a more mature trust. While trusting a person who has hurt you isn’t impossible it will never be the same kind of wide-eyed trust we give to people when we first let them in. This is not really a bad thing even though it may seem like a loss. Seeing people for who they really are rather than through rose-colored lenses can be a healthy thing. So when you decide to try to give trust a second chance just know that you will be more sensitive to the prospect of another betrayal and forgive yourself if doubt seeps in without real reason.

If you have tried the ways based on the information given above, and your partner still don't trust you and yet he/she accused you of things such as you slept with another guy/girl or etc, there's no use holding on to the relationship. Because, without trust no relationship can thrive. Would you readers want to have a relationship with someone who doesn't believe you at all or with someone who accused you of such things that you yourself knew you didn't do it? We're sure that will be a whole lot of time wasted.

So, what's your say?

1. Love does not hurt. Physical or emotional abuse are not part of love.

2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands based on the, "You would do it if you loved me?" tactic.

3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms but it is always about caring.

4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.

5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.

6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not physical attraction.

7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest with all parties about your feelings and confusion.

8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.

9. Romantic love can fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.

10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

Bothered by the attention that your boyfriend or girlfriend gets from other people? Can't stand it when your boyfriend's/girlfriend's ex is around? Well, we smell jealousy here.

If you do something foolish about it, like blaming your boyfriend or girlfriend, or lash out at the ex, you are going to drive your boyfriend/girlfriend away. So, how to deal with jealousy in relationships?

1. Recognize why you are jealous.

- People will rarely go out of their ways to make you feel jealous. Instead, jealousy in relationships usually comes from insecurity that you feel about yourself or about your relationship. When you feel a pang of jealousy, try to figure out what is really at the root of it. You will probably find that solving the problem involves changing something about you rather than changing the way your boyfriend/girlfriend or the people around his/her act.

2. Build up your self-esteem.

- Confident people aren't jealous because they know they don't have a reason to be. Take a little time every day to do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself. When insecure thoughts enter your head, try to push them out. Little by little, your confidence will build, and you will care less about what other people think.

3. Quit comparing.

- You are probably tempted to compare yourself to the other girls in your boyfriend's life, and to keep double-checking to make sure your boyfriend thinks you are prettier and cooler than they are. Snap out of it! When it comes to dating, people can't be compared like that. No matter what your boyfriend's exes and female friends are like, he loves you for you.

4. Put yourself in other people's shoes.

- If your boyfriend/girlfriend has an ex who wants him/her back, think about how you will feel if you were him. Maybe probably pretty hopeless and depressed. You have more reason to feel bad for him than to be angry at him.

So yeap. Remember that acting jealous doesn't help in anything. In fact, jealousy in relationships only makes things worse, especially if it changes the way you act around your boyfriend/girlfriend. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with negative thoughts? Get positive!

Yes, we know! This particular topic is indeed very attractive and interesting. But, please take note that this post is meant for those who are still single. So, to those who are attached, if you happened to read this, don't ever betray your boyfriend/girlfriend alright?

Flirting's a language. And just like with any other language, no one's born a fluent flirt. If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, you've got to learn the signs. Follow these flirt tips and practice till you're an expert flirt. And let us repeat this for the very last time, this post is meant for those who are still single.

1. Choose your target.

- You don't have to have a crush on someone in order to flirt. Practice flirting with random people you see every day on order to hone your skills. That way, you will have some flirting experience under your belt when you approach the people who really matter.

2. Have an opening line.

- Find a reason to talk to the person. If you're in a class with them, come up with a question about an assignment. If they're standing in line behind you at a concert, ask about the band. Get creative, and be ready to respond to whatever they say.

3. Make eye contact.

- If you don't make eye contact, you will look bored or uninterested, and that's not an impression you want to give. Too shy to look them right in the eyes? Here's a trick: look at the spot right between their eyes. It will look like eye contact to them.

4. Come up with a compliment.

- Pick one thing you like about the way they look. Let them know in a friendly way how much you like it. It will make them feel good and will open them up to you.

5. Smile.

- So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you will know that they like talking to you, too.

6. Flirt with your body.

- The body language you use when you flirt is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body towards the person and try to find excuses to touch them.

7. Keep it light.

- You will get a way better response if you chat about fun, happy stuff than serious or sad stuff. The point of flirting isn't to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It is to open the door to lots more conversations down the road.

8. Beware of awkward silences.

- Once the convo drags, it is probably gone for good. Fill an awkward silence by asking the other person a question.

9. Wrap it up.

- If you are not interested in talking anymore, politely find an excuse to head off into the sunset. If you are interested, give them a way to get in touch with you. This is just your first convo of many, so save some of that charm for the next time.

10. Practice, practice, and practice!

- No one is perfect at flirting the first time around. If the idea of flirting still gives you butterflies, don't worry. It just means that you need more practice. The more you flirt, the easier it will get.

So, to all the single girls/guys out there, good luck!

When your boyfriend's exes is always in the way.
- Topic suggestion by Diahh.

"Wake up girl! Get the fact that you are no longer with him. He's now with me, and no longer with you. Why is it so hard for you to understand? Could you do me a little favour, please? Get the hell out of our life!"

Now, what will you do if you are in this kind of situation? You are currently leading a happy life with your boyfriend, and suddenly, his ex appeared back in his life. And this ex of his is always in the way. In simple words, she's trying to intefere with both of your life.

Yes, we understand you. We feel you. And without you realizing, this will simply lead to stress. But, why get yourself stress up over this matter? As all of us know, stress equals to a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism. And as all of us know, stress is very unhealthy. So, why get yourself so stress up?

Believe us. This is a normal problem. We're sure everybody has been in this kind of situation. It's kind of annoying and irritating when your boyfriend's/girlfriend's exes is always in your way. But, always remember. The only reason they do that is because they are afraid nobody wants them. They got themselves so desperate till the only option left is to get in both of your way.

If not, they won't intefere in either you or your boyfriend's life. Like we say just now, they only reason they did that is because they are not worthy at all and nobody wants to be with them. Make sense right?

So, don't get yourself stress up because of this. Just remember that they are just someone who's not worthy at all and that's the reason why they are always in your boyfriend's way. But, if this problem continues, just tell them straight in their face.

So, what's your say?

Is it wrong to keep in touch with my ex?
- Topic suggestion by Airah.

You're having a relationship with someone who is insecure about your past. He isn't satisfied with the fact that you're still in contact with your ex. And he expects you to stop contacting your ex. What should you do?

Take note about this. When you decided to have a relationship with someone, you have to accept the person for who they are. You can't possibly change them or control their life. You don't even have the right to do all that.

Move on! We're OVER! Period!
- Topic suggestion by Ainul.

You've decided to end your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Your boyfriend/girlfriend can't accept with the decision you've made, and they decided to take revenge on you just because you're the one who requested for break up.

Why can't they let you go? Why must they go to the extand of taking revenge on you? Why must they do all that?

There are a few reasons why they tend to take up revenge on you.

1) The way you ended your relationship was wrong.

- There's ways if you really wanted a break up. You can't possibly break up with someone in a rude way. You can't use reasons like "Let's end our relationship because i don't need you anymore".

2) You have no good reasons on why you wanted to end your relationship.

- "Let's break up. Don't question me. I got no answer to your question." Well, this is exactly the same as "Why you wanted me to be part of your life?" or "Why do you love me?". If you can answer that before getting together, why can't you still do the same when you're no longer together?

3) They just couldn't accept the fact.

- Who asked you to promise things such as "Don't leave me" or "Only death will seperate us apart"? Why promise such things when you know you can't make it through with him/her? The reason why they take revenge on you is because they thought that they've been cheated. You promised them such things and in the end, you just can't fulfilled your promises. Make this a lesson learnt.

4) They are obsessed with you.

- Oh my. Maybe they're sick or maybe they're really sick. We know you love your boyfriend/girlfriend. But this doesn't mean you have to get so obsessive. Bear in mind that they're just your boyfriend/girlfriend. Even if they are your husband/wife, you have no right to get so obsessive.

Accept the fact that they absolutely have no more feelings for you. You can't force someone to love you right? You must learn to respect people's decisions. Don't dwell about this and don't even think about seeking revenge.

When he/she decides to end the relationship, just accept it although it's hard. Move on slowly. And don't move on without having the intention of 'seeking revenge'. There's plenty of guys/girls out there. Show them you can move on with somebody else without the intention of 'seeking revenge'. Don't waste your time with this children games. You earn nothing by doing so.

Couples who just chat, text and communicate on the phone without meeting up.
- Topic suggestion by Passerby.

- Topic suggestion by Passerby.

If you have an elderly relative or friend who has moved to a nursing home or assisted living facility, you know that your relationship has changed. Elderly people who are unable to live independently often have a chronic disease or some level of dementia that makes self-care and communication difficult.

It is important to remember that while communication with the elderly may be more challenging, it’s worth the effort. By maintaining a loving connection with an elderly person, you honor your relationship, and help to improve that person’s quality of life.

Put yourself in their shoes. You won't want someone to be disrespectful to you right? Or even, talked to you using words that is 'unpleasent' to both your ears. Let's use your children as an example? What will you feel if your child doesn't respect you? What will you do if your child doesn't respect you?

Always respect the elderly person's background, knowledge, and values. Because an elderly person's life experience may be very different from yours, it's important to let the person express those thoughts and feelings, and to respect them even if you disagree.

Remember, it's a big sin if you don't respect somone who is much more older than you. You won't know how much more longer will they be leaving in this world. Appreciate them while you still have the time. Treasure all the moments you spend with them. Respect them by showing you care and love them. Once they are gone, there's no way you can turn back the time. If you're rude to them and you don't respect them, and they happen to pass away, there's no use regretting.

Attention seekers.
- Topic suggestion by Lina.

"Guys! Check out my new limited edition Globe shoes. It's darn expensive. It falls on the 'selling fast' items. I bought the last piece! Such a waste if you guys don't buy it!"

And there this person goes bragging about his new Globe shoes. Bragging about something you have has the exact same meaning as you're trying to show off. And when you're trying to show off, this also means that you're trying to win attention from other people.

Attention seeking behaviors are often associated with childish behavior and or learning disabilities.


This person constantly does things to get your attention and it can become quite annoying. They will blurt out and tell you what they did or that they have finished doing their work or whatever that's happening in their life. Their desire for attention is almost insatiable. Much of what they do is done to get attention. It doesn't seem to matter that you provide lots of attention as they continually seek more.

The 'Attention Seeking' person is in need of more attention than most. They seem to have something to prove and don't take as much pride intrinsically as they do extrinsically. This person may not have a sense of belonging. Try and understand the need, this person may have a LOW SELF-ESTEEM and may need some confidence building. Sometimes the attention seeker is simply just immature. If this is the case, adhere to the interventions below and the person will outgrow the insatiable need for attention.

Remember. None of us likes mixing with a bunch of attention seekers. None of us likes being with a bunch of person who likes to show off. Why have the need to show off? Why can't you just keep it to yourself? Also remember that you earn nothing by showing off. Instead, more people will hate being with you, and they will just ignore you because to them, you're just a bunch of people who tries to show off just to get their attention. We're sure you people won't want to get that kind of label. So, stop being an attention seeker, and stop showing off.