No-Controversy.

Adventures.

Getting stucked at home without things to occupy us with can lead to a major stress. No work, no school, no exciting activities, absolutely nothing. For my case here, i was recently jobless as the company that i've been working for months wasn't doing business, and sadly, it has to close down. It isn't easy finding jobs nowadays. But no worries, im not going to complain about how mundane my life looked like ever since i was jobless. No work for the time being means i can update regularly. But, this also means i must stop going for Karaoke sessions every end of the month like how i used to.

Well, when i came up with the topic 'Adventures' today, im not referring to Bungee jumping, hiking, or infact not even Universal Studio of Singapore. How about something creepy, eerie, scary, but still exciting just to get fun or maybe just to gain experience, but maybe some might find it such an insane and stupid activity to do. Any ideas on what im talking about?

If ghost-hunting is your answer, then you're indeed a genius. Im sure many should have guess the answer correctly since i did mention about something creepy, eerie, and scary in the previous paragraph.

Recently, me and a couple of my friends organised a small meet-up session. So through out the conversation, we kept on talking about nonsensical things until we accidentally talked about ghost-hunting. It's been donkey years ago since we went out for adventures. Our destination previously was the French Embassy House (if i got the name correctly). It was located somewhere behind The Botanical Garden.

The experience gained there was already enough for a first-timer like me. But that doesn't stop me from not going for adventures again. If i could still remember, there was around 3-4 bikes, around 6-8 including the riders and pillions, and i was the only girl there. But thanked God, nothing happened to me. One of my friend fall sick soon after this incident took place. According to him, his R6 felt heavy as he was on the way back home when no one else was on the bike with him. Thank God nothing happen to him too.

So yeap. We're still planning for the exact destination. Somewhere creepy, eerie, and scary maybe? We might be going to a few places within one night. But the main problem is, we're still figuring out for more haunted places here. Old Changi hospital is surely out of the list. Maybe old abandoned houses? Such as the Sisters house located somewhere at town side? Old camps or headquarters? Such as the old army camp at Kranji? The cemetery? Such as the abandoned cemetery at Bukit Brown?

Oh well. Im still blank. Maybe i shall search through the Internet right after updating. I might be sharing and i might be uploading some pictures soon after the adventures. Meanwhile, if any of my dear readers happens to know of any exciting places here, do share with me alright? So, anybody up with adventures? ;)

Ways to show your boyfriend you love him.
-Topic suggestion by Passerby.

Guys are always expected to do something creative for the woman they love. However, what can we, girls, do to show our boyfriend how much we love him?

1. Food.

Guys love food. Take him out to dinner at his favourite restaurant. Cook his favourite meal at home. Go on a picnic and just spend the day together. Guys love these things just as much as girls.

2. Step out of your comfort zone.

Go somewhere or do something he loves that you normally wouldn't do. Trying something new just for him will show him how much you care. Pay attention to your boyfriend's likes and dislikes to find the perfect thing to do.

3. Give him a gift.

Show him that you really do listen by buying him a gift. Give him something he keeps looking at, but never buys. Often times guys save their money to buy their girlfriend something or take her somewhere special. Treat him and buy it for him. You can also make him something.

4. Leave him notes.

Leaving your boyfriend love notes is a great way to tell him how you feel. Leave the notes anywhere he normally sees everyday. Simple phrases can mean the world to him. Taking the extra time to leave him a few notes shows him how much your love him.

5. Coupon book.

Create a coupon book just for the two of you. Some ideas include letting him be right even when he's wrong, going to his favorite kind of movie, and doing something you normally wouldn't. Let him use the coupons whenever he likes. This will be fun for both of you and he will love you for doing it.

You don't have to be a genius to come up with something creative and special for the guy of your dream. After all, guys wants to feel just as loved as we girls would want from them. Relax and have fun. Good luck!

Ways to be a better partner in a relationship.

Have your heard your exes say that you're a lousy boyfriend/girlfriend? Perhaps the guy/girl you are currently dating has been complaining about your relationship? Do you feel that your guy/girl is always screaming at you with frustration? Here are some tips that you may want to consider in helping you become better in handling your relationships.

1. Communicate properly.

Most girls say that they have trouble communicating with their boyfriend. Don't be like other guys who refuse and avoid talking to their girlfriends about problems haunting the relationship. Do not hesitate in telling your girlfriend anything that bothers you. Remember to answer when your girlfriend asks a question. Don't just nod or shake your head. Say something. Talk! It is important for you to voice out your thoughts and feelings to your special someone.

2. Pay attention.

Listen to what your partner is saying. Pay attention to everything he/she says including those that may seem too trivial for you. Girls love it when guys are able to recall details of what they said, and guys love it when girls are able to listen to their conversation even without saying a word.

3. Be lavish with compliments.

Say something nice every time you see your partner. Comment on his/her choice of clothes, or shoes. Let your partner know that you approve of what he/she has done for you. Be generous with your compliments.

4. Be patient.

There is no need for you to snap at your partner over petty things. Make sure not to raise your voice at him/her for coming in late or for misplacing your things. Do not walk out or leave your guy/girl alone when you two are in the middle of a heated argument. Make sure that you stay cool regardless of how irritated you are with your partner. Just keep in mind that your partner are basically difficult creatures to deal with, and you just need to be patient for the relationship to work.

5. Keep your promises.

Remember that promises are not made to be broken. If you promised to take your partner to the movies this Saturday, then you should take him/her to the movies this Saturday. Do not forget the commitments that you made to your partner. Call at the time you said you would, and take him/her out on a date as you said you would. Only make promises you can keep.

6. Make time.

Girls just hate it when their boyfriend seem to never make time for them. Being very busy is not an excuse for not seeing your girlfriend. You can't always be too tired to go out. Same goes out to girls. If you can spend one whole day going out shopping with your girlfriends, we don't get it why you can't make time for your boyfriend.

Making a relationship work is never easy. There will always be conflicts, and misunderstandings between you and your partner. But this doesn't mean that you should give up, and accept that you're just not cut to be in a relationship for long. It's never too late to be a better partner in a relationship. Good luck!

How to present yourself on a date?

Going out for your very first date? Going out for a date with your boyfriend/girlfriend but feel like changing your way like how you used to date? In a confusion state and don't know how to react? Fret not, we're here to help our dear readers.

A lasting relationship must always start somewhere, and it rarely comes to anything if at the start ot the first date both parties have already created a bad impression. There a certain rules to follow in order to make things happen.

For the guys, it pays to be a gentleman. No girls can resist the charms of a guy who goes all out with chivalry. You must open her car door (if you own a car), secure her helmet for her (if you own a bike), assist her to her seat, and always take the outer side of sidewalk when planning a nice stroll. However, do not go overboard with it as some girls appreciate being independent as well. Too much gentlemanly moves can sometimes smother her.

Listening is always a key factor. Both of you should take turns to keep quiet in order to listen while the other is talking, whether the talk is centered on the mundane or on life-changing experiences.

For the girls, being a lady shows that you also want his respect. Give him your full attention, but not too much. Don't let him see that you are desperate or an easy catch. A respectable balance of clothes and show of flesh creates the impression that you are playful but not easy.

Keep the mood light and easy. Stick to neutral and more fun topics for discussions.

Be interested and don’t fidget. Looking at one’s watch is not a good sign for any date. It immediately signals the end of any desire to get to know your date further.

Please don’t fight over the bill. In this modern world, the arrival of the bill can trigger a lot of interesting scenarios. Rather than assuming your date would prefer to be: (a) treated like a princess (you pay) or (b) treated like an equal (you split), you can get it out of the way by asking for her preference politely. But make sure that your tone suggests that you prefer to treat her like a princess.

Last, and most of all, the couple should enjoy the planned date together. One should put aside any worry and just enjoy without thinking about whether this is going to end up well, or not end up well at all. At the end of the date, the most important thing is that both shared a mutually good time together.

Today is an age wherein biases are down, individualities are celebrated, and being informally happy is the key to just let dates be more fun. So who knows, what inspires one may be quickly caught on with the other, thus setting the stage for the second date. Good luck!

Things you should never say over text message.

Text messaging has replaced much of our face-to-face time and for good reason. They're wuick, discreet and easy. You can give shouts to friends, hold shot conversations in situations where you can't speak openly, or break the ice with someone you've just met.

1. Breaking up.

- Texting a breaking up is a bad idea. The person on the other end deserves an in person relationship kill. Text to set up a time and place to talk, but leave the reasoning to old-fashioned hot air.

2. Coming out.

- Chances are the person you're coming out will be shocked about your announcement. And even if they're not, they still may wonder what's going on in your life that has led to you finally coming out of the closet. Neither you nor they can gage reactions and express the emotions that come along along with coming out properly over a text. Plus, a coming out text can be seen as the close of the conversation as opposed to the start of ongoing dialogue. If you're ready to come out, sit them down and tell them how you feel.

3. Health issues.

- Mental and physical health are very personal things to discuss. Texting your HIV status to a partner or discussing mental health or other issues over text can send a shock way through your device. Get up front and get the support you need with a face-time talk.

There are certain situations, however, that texts just can't articulate properly. As clear as the some statements may be, they carry an emotional weight that is best expressed through body language. Also, some things said over text lead to conversations that are much too involved and lengthy for the one hundred plus characters that you're allotted on your phone.

The rules for texting your crush.

Feeling so tempted to text the guy/girl you like, but unsure what sort of message to send? Play it safe and follow these rules for how to text your crush the right way.

1. Text them a simple question.

- If you want your crush to reply to your text, you'll have to give him/her a reason to reply in the first place. Ask a simple question about what they're up to, or ask something related to a converstaion you had recently.

2. Don't wait by the phone.

- If your crush texts you back, that's great. But there's nothing you can do to make it happen sooner. In the meantime, occupy yourself with something to do so you don't feel compelled to pick up the phone again.

3. Don't text your crush twice in a row.

- Once you send a text, don't send another one till you hear back. Two or more messages in a row can come off as desperate, especially if you're sending them to someone who isn't already a close friend.

4. Keep the converstaion going...to a point.

- Hopefully, your crush will respond to your text. Get the conversation going by replying, and see where it leads you. But don't keep things rolling just because. If you notice him or her responding with lots of one-word answers, or if more and more time passes between texts, then hold off for the night. Your crush is sending you signals that it's time for the conversation to be over.

5. Follow up in person.

- Texting is great because it's low-pressure and not too nerve-wracking, but relationships can't be built on text messages alone. Next time you see your crush in person, go up to him or her and continue your conversation face-to-face.

6. Look for this big sign that they're not interested.

- Are you always the one who texts your crush first? Does he/she never start a conversation or text you out of the blue? That's a sign that your crush might just be texting you out of boredom or politeness and doesn't think of you when you're not around. Hold off on the texts for a couple of days. If you don't hear back, you're probably better off without them.

Remember, sometimes the wrong step taken might be irritating, or messages sent without main topic might just be too much for your crush. Good luck!

Why do guys play hard to get?

Playing hard to get is the oldest trick in the book. It makes the mind crazy and the libido strong, but it's not just for the girls. In this day and age, one of sexual liberation and therefore promiscuity, the fellas can exercise their right to withhold just as well as the girls.

So, why do guys play hard to get?

1) He's ignorant.

- Many guys, possibly the majority of guys, just don't know what they're looking at when faced with an interested girls. It's one of the reasons that girl frieds are such a precious resource.

2) He's shifty.

- Some guys enjoy picturing themselves as Don Juan. It's a point of pride for them to juggle girls, toy with their emotios or even play them off of each other. These are usually the guys who hide their three girlfrieds from each other, never want to move in and later on in life start a different family in every state. Simply put, some guys are just cruel. They enjoy the attention and usually they enjoy the ensuing drama even more. It's a good idea to stay away from these guys, even if you seem inextricably drawn back to them. They're bad news and they're not the relationship type.

3) He's a jerk.

- Some guys are simply not the settling down type. They will sell you on a whole bunch of nonsense like, "I've got to be free" or "I don't believe in monogamy" but it's always the same problem. They just don't want to tie themselves down.

4) He's damaged.

- Some guys don't have the emotional or mental infrastructure to facilitate a serious commitment. These guys aren't always bad. Sometimes they just need patience and encouragement. It's also possible for them to be callous, shallow and thoughtless. At any moment they could turn into jokers or two-timers. It might be because they don't wat to settle down or it might be because their impulses push them to sabotage the relationship. Either way, the important thing to remember is that he's just as flawed as anyone else. Give him time and let him know how you feel.

5) Two way street.

- Being the only active party in a relationship can be frustrating, and while playing hard to get can be fun and effective at the beginning of a relationship, there comes a time when everyone needs to start committing themselves to the relationship more seriously. This means talking about feelings, committing more seriously to your partner and taking the appropriate steps. If he's not matching up to this, it doesn't matter what the reason is. You deserve to have your feelings reciprocated.

So, what's your say?

Why do girls play hard to get?

There are three types of girls: those who throw themselves at any member of the male sex, those who play hard to get and those who behave normally. I've just implied that girls who play hard to get are not normal. And they're not because they're game players. Their reasons for playing such games may vary.

So, why do girls play hard to get?

1) Mothers' knows the best.

- Some girls play hard to get because their mother told them to. You see, they claimed that she scored your father with some good old-fashioned teasing and coy behaviour that would rival the sauciest scenarios you can think of.

2) Them's the rules.

- Some girls play hard to get because a silly book told them to. The rules tell women to ignore men and never make the first, second or eve tenth move.

3) You're backup.

- Some girls play hard to get because they aren't sure they really want you. You might be cute, intelligent and well-paid, but she's not 100% sure about you.

4) She's neurotic.

- Some girls don't know how to have a normal relationship. She might think she wants you one day but not the next.

5) She's just not into you.

- Some girls aren't playing hard to get. Some girls really just aren't into you. Unfortunately, some guys totally pretend and convince themselves otherwise and continue to ask for dates. If a girl has turned you down every single time you've asked her out, odds are that she's not interested. Please don't waste your time pursuing one of these girls.

So, what's your say?

"OMG! He's Married!"

About 1% of married men who have affairs leave their wives, and many men cheat on their wives. With the Internet, there's even more chance to be elusive in the early stage.

Make no mistake, married men who are fooling around can be wonderfully attentive and romantic. He can be calling you all day long, filling your hungry heart with the wildest affirmations you've ever dreamed of, showering you with gifts, and making rapturous love to you when you get together.

Of course you're concerned and want to know if that guy you just met who's coming on to you so delightfully is married before you get involved.

From my very own personal experience, i've wasted 8 months of my life being in a relationship with someone who's already married. Well of course, he told me he was still single, and was looking for a serious relationship. First few months with him was like a 'honeymoon period' when everything was perfect. I met his clan of close friends, as well as his cousins. I even regard them like part of my family. That's how close i am with them.

One day, i had a major argument with my ex. He wanted a break up, i didn't agree with him and refused to let him go. Since he really wants to leave, he even said that he was married and told me to leave him. I thought that was just a threat or just another joke as he's the kind who likes to crack jokes, but in a very serious way. But i was wrong, it was a nightmare afterall. I met his wife, confronted his close friends, and he was indeed married for three years, and already has a kid.

Did i felt anything suspicious throughout the whole 8 months with him? Well, no. I given him all my trust, and i didn't expect to be cheated this bad. There's times when we're out, he will either switched off his phone or make it silent. And when he's answering calls or replying to his messages, he tend to go further away from me. But like what i've just said, i trusted him and maybe that's the reason why i didn't suspect anything at all.

So, how to be sure he is married and is just fooling around?

1) You only have his handphone number.

- Well yeah, he's married, not stupid. He knows you're enventually going to get a whiff of that wedding band, and when you do, he doesn't want you calling his house in the middle of the night. Girlfriend, if you don't have his house number, he's hiding something.

2) He's incredibly randy, all of the time.

- Married men looking to cheat are usually doing so because they never get the goods at home. This guy is obsessed with all things kinky, and wants you to do all manner of kinky things to him. He's ready to go the moment he sees you, and ready to go again immediately thereafter.

3) He pays for everything in cash.

- You can figure this out, right? Credit card statements are easily accessible to the wife. That's why he's gotta be smooth and pay in cash.

Obviously some of these can apply to single blokes. However, if you see all 3 with one guy, you'd better check that ring finger one more time, because the man probably has a wife! Don't get cheated like me, or you'll end up having a hard time picking pieces of your badly damaged heart.

Quote of the day.

"Tragedies happen. What are you going to do? Give up? Quit? No. I realized now that when your heart breaks you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The cofusion and the fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and that something is worth fighting for."

- Nathan Scott.

Lying about status.

Let's just say, I'm a girl and I've been seeing and texting this particular guy regularly. As time goes by, I started taken a liking to him and lucky for me, my feelings was reciprocated. I asked him about his status and he kept on emphasizing that he was single. Once I was convinced, I started loving him more each day. You know the saying - truth cannot be hidden forever? Yes, I finally know the truth in the end that he was attached all those while. How did I know? Well ...

1) A girl wouldn't write on his Facebook wall saying 'Baby I love you so much. A few more days to our monthsary' unless she's his girlfriend.

2) He switched off his handphone while I was going out with him.

3) If he did switch on his handphone and someone called him, he'd talk so softly on the phone or moved further away from me while I was with him.

4) He wouldn't hide his relationship status on Facebook if he was single.

5) He wouldn't have an album on his Facebook titled '♥' and all his pictures were taken with a girl, the same girl who wrote 'Baby..etcetc' on his wall.

6) I listened to my gut and intuition.

I was having doubts about his relationship status as time passes by so I tried to make sense of the six things (that I just typed above) and finally got the whole picture sorted out. I purposely said "I already know the truth so stop lying about your relationship status" to him and all he said was, "Actually I wanted to tell you from the start but I guess I'm too late." It took me 2 months to completely forget about him and seriously now I'm starting not to trust guys anymore. But hey, not all guys are the same and one advice from me to you readers out there is ... Be careful and try to find out his real relationship status first before falling deeply in love with him.

So, what's your say?

Be yourself.

You're so noisy. You're so irritating. You're so tall. You're so fat. You're so short. You're so hot-tempered. And the list goes on... People keep on trying to put you down no matter what you do. Well, you know what to do. All you have to do is ignore because you are what you are and nobody can change you. Stop trying to be someone else because you're unique just the way you are.

Unless...you are turning other people off by your attitude. Then I suggest changing for the better may do you good too. Whatever you do, it's your choice anyway. 2011 is just a few days away so what's your new year's resolutions? To be honest, 2010's not a good year for me because a lot of unpleasant incidents occurred and I really pray and hope that 2011 will be better for me and of course, for all you readers out there.

Once again, don't try to change to someone you're completely not. Let's face it, you're you. :D

When you're stucked in between two friends.

Im so going to get this out of my mind. I've been arguing with my guy friend (we're currently dating) over my another guy friend (someone whom im closed with, and only regards him as a bestfriend). This friend of mine, whom im currently dating with, keeps on assuming that i have something going on with my bestfriend.

Why so? Since I'm very close to him, we spend most of our time together. We went shopping together, we watched movie together, we cried to each other, we hugged each other, we kissed each other, we missed each other, and we loved each other. But like what I've just said, we're only bestfriends. Doesn't mean we're close, and always spending time with each other, he has to be my boyfriend.

Here goes the exact situation ...

I've known my bestfriend longer that i knew the guy whom im currently dating with. Few days back, i went out with my bestfriend and had a slight argument with him. Well, reason of argument shall remain private. He send me back home, and didn't say a word to me. He even ignore my messages and calls. Must be really disappointed in me, i guess.

Days have passed. Still no news from my bestfriend. Since we used to meet each other every single day, and it feels awkward having to stay at home and not to meet him, i cried because im starting to miss his accompany, and also him. So, i went online and my quick message at MSN was 'i miss you'. I didn't realized that the guy whom im currently dating with is also online. He chatted with me, asking things related to my quick message.

And the moment i told him i missed my bestfriend, he gets really pissed off and he even say things that somehow hurt me. Just because of my quick message and the reason i shared with him about why i argued with my bestfriend, he has to get jealous and gets really mad over it, and must mistook us for being a couple. He even accused me for being a liar, and i lied because according to him, im a girl with so many boyfriends.

Now tell me, how heartbreaking can that be? I can now relate myself for being in a dilemma. The guy whom im currently dating with wants me to choose. It's either him or my bestfriend. I extremely hate choosing and being put in such situations. It hurts, it really do. I don't wanna lose my bestfriend, as well as losing him.

Advice, opinions, and help needed on this. I've asked around and they say i should leave my bestfriend instead. I really need help. Thank you. :'(

Looking down on yourself.

I'm sure many of us have low self-esteem and lack of confidence in ourselves. When you received a criticism from someone, you'll tend to think that you're not good enough. When your self-esteem has been tampered with, you'll tend to fall harder. Another criticism from someone else just makes it worst for you and the next thing you'll want to do is just - break down and cry because you think that everyone else is better than you. Well, guess what, nobody's perfect at all. I'm sure you've heard of this, and yes, it's cliche but it's true!

I have this friend who is lacking of self-confidence. He is being criticized consistently by his friends because of his looks. Because of this, he is indulging in sadness most of the time and sadly but true, he cried every night because of his low self-esteem. I tried advising him several times to get back on his feet, but to no avail. He will tend to say negative things about himself and every time I tried stopping him from doing so, he just couldn't. Because his mindset is already - "I'm ugly, no one likes me." And tell you what, this is just going to hurt your self-esteem even more.

So, what are the steps to get back on your feet again and not feel as though you're worthless?

Step 1: Stop the negative self-talk. Self-talk is the ongoing conversation you have with yourself. Every time you hear yourself saying and affirming negative stuff about yourself TO yourself, STOP IT. Don't let one more negative thing about you get planted in your mind..
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Step 2: The best self esteem help is to say positive things to yourself every single day. Every day try to make it a point to say nothing but positive, self esteem building stuff to you. You will be amazed how much better you will feel about yourself and your life. Remember, you have to teach yourself how to gain self esteem first, then you can teach others. Self-praise can help sometimes too, though try not to self-praise too much because other people may not like it..

Step 3: Try to brush off what other people say about you. It may be hard but it's worth trying. Try to treat their criticism as something trivial. Have this planted on your mind - 'They can say whatever they want but they can never bring me down. They're just some heartless people who have no life, trying to bring other people down.'

These are the top 3 steps on how to regain your self-esteem. Don't be foolish as to think that you're worthless. YOU'RE NOT. Tell yourself that you're not what they say about you! Chin up, boys and girls, you're never alone. If you're willing to look on the positive side, then you'll be able to succeed in getting back what rightfully belongs to you - your self-esteem. If you still failed in regaining back your self-confidence, don't worry. Our tagboard is there and we'll be willing to help all of you :D

Hello 2011!

A new year, a new chapter of life. Let what had happened in 2010, stays in 2010. A new chapter of life, again another new resolution for the upcoming year. Each and everyone of us wants the best for ourselves. We're not bound to meet happiness every single day. There's ups and downs in life, and that makes our life even more spicier. What's life without obstacles in it?

Still thinking of your new year's resolution? Well, we've got something in stored for everybody. Maybe ideas will start popping out after getting yourself some interesting ideas.

1) Get healthy.

- Getting healthy doesn't just mean losing weight. It can also mean playing more sports, making healthier eating choices or just resolving to get off the couch a little more often. Make one small change at a time, and you'll have an easier time keeping this resolution.

2) GET HAPPIER.

- This is a little more of an abstract resolution that can mean different things to different people. Boost your self-esteem, or just spend more time doing things you love instead of things that make you feel bad about yourself.

3) Be a better person.

- Just throw some random acts of kindness into your daily routine. This feels so good that it can be addictive.

4) Find love.

- You can be perfectly happy by being single, but be honest. Wouldn't it feel great to find a boyfriend/girlfriend?

5) SHOW MORE LOVE TO YOUR FAMILY.

- Like it or not, your family is made up of the most important people in your life. Take a couple of deep breaths and resolve to be a little nicer to them.

6) Be a better friend.

- The more love you give to your friends, the more love they'll give back to you. There's nothing to lose.

7) Get better in school/work.

- You don't need to suddenly turn yourself into a straight A students, or to always be the best employee. But, im you bump up your performance by just a little bit, you'll be setting yourself up for a brighter future.

8) Learn something new.

- There's nothing more thrilling than the feeling of finally 'getting to try something new'.

9) Be a role model.

- Make smart decisions, and then make sure that other people are listening in on it. You can handle that, right?

10) Make some money.

- There's nothing wrong with wanting to pad your wallet a little bit. So, get a jon, or just find a better one.

Now, everybody wants the best for themselves. Who doesn't, right? In order for you to do so, you'll need to get your mind set, and not do something halfway and then give up on it. We really hope the facts that was given aboved somehow drew a clearer picture of what you guys wanna do later in 2011.

Let bygones be bygones, let what had happened in 2010 stays in 2010, and lets start afresh and hopefully, 2011 will be waaaaay better than this year.

Happy New Year! May you have a blessed new year! :D

A day out with Mat Motor and friends.

I don't ride a bike because i don't own any license. Mum says it's way too dangerous for a girl to ride a bike. I agreed with her since there's a lot of death cases that involves bike. I'd rather be the pillion than riding my own bike. But, nobody says being a pillion is safer.

I enjoyed the company of my bestfriend and his friends whenever we're out for a ride. Most says being with Mat Motor and his friends is such a stupid thing for a girl to do. Why? Because most says they're only out for fun, or they simply wanna make use of that girl.

I doubt so. Lets be open here. My bestfriend and his friends isn't the kind who only rides bike. They're involved with groups, and whatever that falls on their list. But hey, they're not the kind who make used of girls or simply wants fun with them.

Being the ONLY girl, they requested me to organize something for them. For after so long mixing and going out with them, this is my first time being given such chances. Labrador Park was the destination. So, we headed there. We talked, laugh, bitched, joked, and enjoyed each other's company.

Honestly, i really don't understand why girls tend to say 'Guys (be it your friend, bestfriend, boyfriend or whoever) who rides bike only used girls as a toy'. It's kinda hard for me to agree with them because girls tend to go for guys with bikes, and from my opinion, they're letting themselves to be used as a toy.

I don't know. Maybe my bestfriend and his friends isn't like what girls always assumed? Or maybe they don't dare doing that thing to me because im close with my bestfriend and they respected me? Well, i really don't know.

No matter what reasons they have with themselves, not all Mat Motor and friends are the same. Try understanding them, they're the most fun group to hang out with! Yes, they do bitched about girls when they're on a conversation. Well girls, that's the best part of it.

Opinions needed on this topic. So, what's your say?

We're Back!

Missed us? We miss you too! No-controversy is now back with a new look! Fresher and juicier stories in stored specially for our readers!

We're back with a new concept too! After reviewing back to all of our post, we are aware most of it are related to Love. Well, that's not our main essential aim and focus of this blog. We update and share things about what is happening around us, and maybe some of you are not aware about it. Not only about Love, but something else as well. Touching too much about Love, readers will get bored. We hope you understand what we're trying to convey here.

But no fret, we will still update about things you guys are curious/in doubts with. You are welcome to share any experience(s) with us too. You can do so to the e-mail address provided. Your identity will be confidential and will not be revealed.

We're hoping to get supports from you readers again. Be sure to be much more supportive this time round. ;)

A healthy relationship.
Topic suggestion by Nura.

A relationship that is solidly built on love is destined to last for a very long time. However, it is a partnership wherein both people need to share in each and every aspect of the relationship to make it work. No one can do this on his/her own.

Oftentimes, the effort exerted may seem too much to handle and one or both partners may give up leading to a deteriorating of the bond that ties two people together. The answers may bot be as complex as they appear to be.

1) The most important question you should ask yourself is whether you really love the person you are with or not. It is a pointless to carry on if you have doubts about this. When you really love someone, you are willing to do things that will make this person happy. He/she has to be worth changing for.

There may be certain aspects of your personality that are not good for the relationship. Your readiness to make necessary changes greatly depends on just how much you really love this person.

2) Respect, loyalty, and honesty are essential factors in maintaining a healthy relationship. Lose one of these and your relationship is doomed to fail. In fact, these three traits go hand in hand. Consider this. When you respect someone, you would not want that person to lose trust in you. Being dishonest only means that you do not respect the person enough to gain his trust. It also follows that you remain loyal to this person when you are honest. Infidelity is definitely a dishonest act and shows your lack of respect and loyalty to your partner.

3) Learn how to communicate with each other. A lot of times, people tend to keep feelings bottled up inside them for fear of hurting other person. This manner of thinking does not only hurt you, but your partner as well. You could actually get sick when you keep things that bother you to yourself. Eventually, these feelings will have to emerge and could be all blown out of proportion from all that build up inside you.

As for your partner, it would be so unfair for him/her to know what you may hold against him/her, and may even be surprised if you blurt a million things you dislike all in one day. Set things straight immediately if you feel that something could negatively affect your relationship and be able to accept certain things your partner may have to say about you too. Never sleep on a quarrel. It doesn't solve anything.

4) Keep those flames of passion burning no matter how long you have been together. Remember what made you fall in love with each other in the first place. Do not allow your relationship to go stale. Try to come up with ways to add a little more excitement to your life together. Go out on dates like you used to, or simply spend time with each other. These simple things go a long way in keeping each other happy and contented.

A happy and healthy relationship can only be maintained where love exists. It is the firm foundation that holds people together. Stay in love and everything else follows.

Is he/she dumping me?

It happens to the best of us and nothing feels worse. Losing love is hard enough but add rejection to the mix and it can be devastating. When you've been dumped it feels like your world is closing in to smother you and you wonder if you will ever feel happy again. Yes, one day you will feel happy again, you will love again and the loss will become nothing more than a life experience. But when you are in the middle of it, caught in those end days of a once blossoming relationship, it can feel like the confusion will never end.

Relationships don't just end. Like it or not you can always see a break up coming. There are always clues. When we sense a looming break up we often retreat in to denial and this is why actually being dumped seems like such a shock. But the reality is that anybody who is willing to look can see the writing on the wall long before the relationship actually ends.

1. He/she is suddenly busy all the time, and never seems to have time to spend with you.

- When you find yourself becoming less and less of a time priority, even if the reasons for the distance seem logical, it is never a good thing.

2. You find that only your fingers do any walking.

- If you are the only one who ever picks up the phone, especially if the phone calling used to be split pretty equally, break up bells should start ringing.

3. He/she says he/she is at one place but is really at another.

- People do not tend to lie for no reason, if he/she is not being honest about where he/she is or who he/she is with there is rarely a noble reason for the deception.

4. You don't seem to connect anymore.

- Remember how when you were first getting together you would run into each other in unexpected places? If these "accidental" meetings become less common place it may be no accident at all.

5. Her/his friends seem distant.

- When somebody wants out of a relationship they often let their friends in on the secret well ahead of time. If your partner's friends seem less friendly it is a good indicator that they know something you don't and that it probably isn't good.

6. He/she starts introducing you to new people as "a friend".

- If he/she is calling you a friend that is all he/she sees you as bottom line.

7. You seem to be fighting a lot about little things.

- Lots of little fights often mean much bigger things are really at issue.

8. Kissing and telling.

- Respect is a relationship essential, once it has been compromised the relationship often follows suit.

9. You just can't seem to do ANYTHING right.

- Be it the style of your hair or the way you walk, if your partner suddenly finds fault with everything you do he/she is probably trying to push you away.

10. You aviod any conversation that begins with "we have to talk" or "I don't know how to say this."

- If your partner is using these opening lines a break up speech usually follows. If you are avoiding conversations that start like this it is probably because you sense that a break up is near and think that if you avoid the talk it won't happen. You are wrong. If a person wants out of a relationship they will get out whether you let them tell you or not. Avoiding this talk is just prolonging the inevitable.

Break ups can be harsh but they hurt less if you face facts rather than hide from the truth. So, what's your say?

Does he likes me?
- Topic suggestion by Guest.

Relationships can be complicated business. It is often difficult to be sure of your own feelings much less your partners. There is no sure way to know if a man likes you, but there are hints. Sometimes it's hard to tell if he has any interest in you at all. With this challenge in mind, here are some pointers for more accurately gauging a man's romantic interest:

1) Hey may be courteous, but not curious.

- Some men may be well-mannered and show this by remembering your name, making eye contact, engaging in small talk, being an attentive listener, and asking questions with apparent sincere interest. But this may only be an indicator of courtesy, emotional maturity, or good human relations skills. While all these positive things are helpful in creating a friendly atmosphere, it would be unwise for you to jump to the conclusion that the man is actually interested in a romanctic way. It may simply be a case of a more refined, civilized man acting in a courteous manner towards you as a person. Don't mistake these as signals that a guy likes you.

2) Hey may be curious, but not actually be interested or even likes you.

- Sometimes you will run across a man who expresses a lot of curiosity in the way he asks questions, gives you his full attention, and keeps his eyes riveted on you. But these behaviors don't automatically mean that the man is interested in dating you or that he has developed any feelings of affection towards you. He may just find you to be interesting looking or he may be already involved with another woman and this is his one seemingly harmless way of enjoying the variety of other women in a detached, non-threatening way. Sure, these may be signs of attraction, but before you assume anything, we want to be sure.

3) Hey may like you some, but not enough to risk the pressure of rejection.

- A man may have positive feelings for you, but those feelings aren't strong enough or clear enough at this point to make the effort of pursuing you aggressively. It could be that the circumstances of his life make it much easier and less painful to just let this romantic opportunity pass. Perhaps he feels the competition for you is too stiff, that you're already involved with another man, or that you don't think very highly of him. In any case, the guy figures that it's just not worth the hassle to pursue you and feel the pressure of a possible rejection. On the other hand, if a man starts asking around with your mutual acquaintances about you, then that may be his way of gathering all the facts before making his big calculated move towards asking you out. This could be considered one of the sure signs a guy likes you.

Is he showing you any of the signs as stated on all the 4 posts? If he did, good luck.

Is your girlfriend using you?
- Topic suggestion by Ps.

Whether you agree to this or not, using somebody equals to cheating. Finding out that a girlfriend has cheated on you is never an easy thing to deal with. Feelings get hurt and tempers often run high. Being cheated on is not an easy thing to get over, however some couples do and they learn from their mistakes.

Cheating happens to the best of us. Even if it hasn't happened to you, you might be wondering if your girlfriend or even your boyfriend is about to cheat. Here are some thoughts on cheating and some clues that the person you're with may not be totally faithful.

First of all, try not to panic. Sometimes a fear that your girlfriend is cheating is actually your own insecurity about the relationship or just yourself. Ask this to yourself, "If she loves me, why would she cheat? What's her motive of making use of me?" Take some time to think about these things before trying to figure out if your girlfriend has been unfaithful.

1) Being overly defensive.

- Sometimes cheating partners will take out their anger and frustration on the person they are being unfaithful to. Be aware of when your girlfriend starts to pick fights with you, or accuses you of strange behaviors from out of the blue to deflect their own actions.

2) Hiding behaviours.

- Frequent phone hang-ups, or quickly keeping her handphone when she's halfway messaging somebody when you walk by may all be signs of a cheating partner.

3) Sudden unavailability.

- If you've been able to get a hold of your girlfriend when you're in camp serving NS or Reservist or whatever before, then if you suddenly cannot, there is reason to be concerned. The same goes for having their phone off for long periods of time or leaving it unanswered when this previously happened rarely, or being unavailable to attend social events or make dates that were commonplace at one point in time.

Are they showing you these 3 signs? If they do, higher chances that they're just making use of you. Maybe letting you be one of their pass time, or perhaps they are just after your money. If you're still unsure about this, sit down and talk with your girlfriend before jumping to any conclusions.

So, what's your say?

Promises.
- Topic suggestion by Firah.

A promise has always been something that gives hope, something that makes us advance, and something that we can look forward to. It gives us security; it assures us and calms our troubled mind. But then promises are also made to be broken, and indeed it has been repeatedly broken, time and again. You just can't hold on to promises, because everything is subject to change. Accept that reality.

Your partner made a promise that he/she won't do something that you don't like. In the end, your partner did it. Yes, it hurts knowing that they have broken the promise they themselves made.

Honoring promises is high on all of our list of requirements in being a person of integrity. Basically, whenever someone fails to follow through on a promise, with the exception of giving a reasonable excuse for backing out on their word, it registers as a betrayal. Whenever we've had a promise made to me broken, it has affected all of us adversely. No one likes to be forgotten or dumped upon. Frankly, it hurts!

It is never okay to break a promise. Granted, people do have a right to "change their minds" from time to time. It is understandable that occasionally circumstances can arise after the fact that can make following through on commitments unfeasible. But, if you routinely renege on your promises or if on the flip side you are often the recipient of broken promises it is time to evaluate this pattern.

Keeping promises is very important. Don't make promises you can't keep. Broken promises hurt individuals and can erode relationships. Trustworthiness is too valuable of a characteristic to own. Don't give it away. So, please keep your promises.

What it means to be a Friend.
- Topic suggestion by Ps.

True friendship is hard to find. For some, the defining moments of friendship were profound, such as the soulmate who helps you through the grief of losing a family member or camps out in your hospital room when you're sick. For others, it's smaller gestures that loom large. The friend who talks for hours when you're feeling alone, even if it means going over on his handphone minutes, or the one who helps you with your homework, even when she hasn't done her own.

Big or small, it's actions that seem to count the most in friendship. In a time when we can chat effortlessly by text and MSN, talk is getting cheaper. Many of you believe that the evidence of true friends is what they do to show their loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, or willingness to make a sacrifice when you need help.

Arguements, fights, quarrels, misunderstandings and such are something that's normal in friendship. Which friendship doesn't have its ups and downs. True enough? But, when these things always happens to you and your friend, there must be something wrong somewhere in your friendship.

To argue, fight, quarrel, or to missunderstand something is uncool unless you’re six. As an adult, you are expected to act responsibly, having full control of yourself at all times. Do not get drawn into arguements, fights, quarrels, misunderstandings that will compromise your good name. Better yet, do not get involve in all of that, period. When a situation is brewing or if you feel that it is getting out of hand, don't risk yourself and just get yourself out of it.

Choosing a real friend is even harder. You can’t really take anything at face value. Most of the time, the words of people mean little when they can’t back it up with the necessary amount of actions and behavior.

So, what's your say?

Treating a girl well.

So, you finally have a girlfriend. It took you a while to get her but here you are with no useful skills, no attractive features and no hope in the world. Come to think of it, you are considered lucky to even be with her.

This means you better treat her well. If she realizes that she can do better than what you can offer, you might be in danger of losing her. You have to treat her so well that she doesn't even begin to think that she can do better.

Follow these simple steps and you will ensure that she gets treated well as your girlfriend. This guide will give you a heads up on what it takes to make a girl happy.

1. Be genuine.

- It helps to actually want to treat your girl well. If you do not want to treat her well, then you must not be ready to have a girlfriend. She will know if you are only trying to treat her well so that you can get something in return. If you have found the right woman, treating her well should be reward enough.

2. Everything should be about her.

- Let her talk about the things that are important to her. Listen to what she has to say. Learn more about the things that make her the woman she is. What are the things that interest her? You can begin by asking about her hobbies and doing the hobbies with her. Let say she's into fashion. You can also simply support her in her hobbies by going window shopping with her to explore new fashion trends or buying her gifts that show you support her endeavors.

3. Give her compliments.

- A compliment goes a long way for a girl. You can tell her she is pretty or give her a more specific compliment. Tell her how much you like her dress or how good dinner was. When you deliver your compliment, look into her eyes and tell her sincerely how you feel.

Guys, if you love your girlfriend, following our tips to impress her is absolutely a no problem. It's not so hard right? Treasure her while she's still yours. We do believe that every single girl deserve to be treated well.

How to read guys' mind?

Are you still confused with guys? Do you wish that you can read and understand what's actually playing inside their mind? Do you wish you knew everything that they are thinking about? Here's how you can do so.

1) Face value.

- First of all, understand that most guys are not as difficult to comprehend as women think they are. One of the common problems in relationships is when the female partner tries to make more out of a simple word or action that a male had said or done. In most instances, there is actually no deeper meaning behind simple gestures and simple conversations. While males can also venture into deep and sometimes even philosophical conversations, you will usually be able to spot when they are doing so. Otherwise, a simple comment is just a simple comment and nothing to fuss about.

2) Asking vs interviewing.

- Guys tend to be straight to the point. Instead of beating around the bush, try asking the question directly. This will usually help you get to the information you want right away. This also helps the guy who probably will feel uncomfortable as you slyly interview him. One of the common mistakes that occur in relationships between opposite sexes is that the guy is interviewed with a list of questions in mind. In reality, however, you do not need to grill the guy just to get an answer out of him.

For girls, a guy's mind can be confusing if not downright mind-boggling. With a little patience, however, you should be able to read guy’s minds easily. Once you know how to read the male mind, identifying his emotions, the meanings behind his actions, and what he really means should be fairly easy.

So, what's your say?

Being a plus-size, is that really an issue to you?
- Topic suggestion by PS.

Insults are never easy to take. Whether representing truth or not, insults are purposely said to demean a character and put a person down. Too often, people try to be nice and maintain good relationships with people in an attempt to avoid insults. But that in fact is a futile attempt. The truth is, you can’t pass this life without hearing a single word of insult. Always, people will find something bad about you and throw an insult at you. But while you can’t prevent people from making insulting remarks about you, you can do something to lessen the impact of the offense.

What's wrong about being a plus-size? Lots of people often looked down on them just because they are fat. Is there really something wrong with them or is there something wrong with you? We're sure that all of us here did went to school and is very well educated with good knowledge. And we're sure that school did taught us on how to have respect for each other. If you claim that you're very well educated just because of you went to school and they taught you on how to have respect for others, why still looked down on plus-size people?

Or, are you just jealous that they are plus-size and you are not one of them and that's why there's a need to insult them? If you're mature enough to think and act, there's no need for you to look down on plus-size people because basically, they are normal human beings like you and they are borned with feelings like you too. Put yourself in their shoes, what will you feel?

Keep in mind that insults are uttered usually out of an emotional outburst. Most of the time, insults are said out of extreme anger or other intense emotions. It is safe to say, therefore, that some insults are purely slip of the tongue. If you happen to receive this type of insult, it is best to pay no attention. If, however, the insults have some allusion to the truth, take them constructively. It can be pretty hard because the way insults are said and worded is not meant to build a person, but there’s no harm in taking something good from something as bad as an insult.

Now, i've got a confession to make. Im a plus-size, and im so proud of it. I have my family, my boyfriend, and a couple of true friends who loves me for who i am. Yes, people might have once insult me about my body. But, i never take those words seriously. Instead, i proved them wrong by showing them what im capable of doing and makes sure they can't do the same thing.

To those who are currently suffering from this situation, have confidence in yourself. Let people say whatever thay wanna say about you. We can't shut their mouth up or stop them from saying so. Once they are tired, they will stop doing so because according to their mindset, you really never care about their words that was supposed to pull you down.

Simply ignore them and don't give them your time to entertain all their insults. Im a plus-size, and im proud of it. :)

Is he/she really my bestfriend?
- Topic suggestion by Sha.

In life, it is important that you can have people around you who can support you when you’re doing something important or are undergoing some emotionally trying times. Friends are the people that you can depend on in life and while you may meet a lot of people in life, it may not be that easy to meet people who could be your friends for the rest of your life. The title of friend should not be thrown around haphazardly. It is a very important distinction that you have to really think about.

Choosing a real friend is even harder. You can’t really take anything at face value. Most of the time, the words of people mean little when they can’t back it up with the necessary amount of actions and behavior.

For us, we don't believe in bestfriends. We've encountered with so many experience(s) which made us say so. Bestfriends and friends are just the same thing. They stepped into our life, create so many memories with us, and left without reasons. We believe in true friends instead.

Who says bestfriends won't bustard you? Who says bestfriends won't bitched about you? Who says bestfriends won't spread rumours about you? Who says bestfriends won't backstabbed you? Who says bestfriends won't leave you because of their lover? Well, without you noticing it, your bestfriends might be your own enemy.

Trust is the most important thing in a friendship.

No matter how long you and your bestfriends have known each other, but still failed to have trust with each other within that long months/years, you should really consider in having them as your bestfriends. No point regarding them as one if they don't trust you.

Can you and your ex become friends after a break-up?

Things weren't right with your boyfriend/girlfriend, so you broke up. But you still care about them and want to be friends. Sometimes this is possible. But, how can you and your ex become friends after a break-up?

1. Make sure you're over them. Even if you're going to be the best of friends, you both still need some time to collect yourself after breaking up.

2. Make sure your intentions are good. Being "friends" with an ex just to torment them or to prevent them from dating other people doesn't help anyone in the long run. In fact, it makes you look really bad.

3. Check in on them. Send a friendly text message or call them on their birthday. Ask them how things are going. Find out what's new in their life and how they've changed since you dated. Be supportive of their individuality.

4. Let them know that you feel positive about them as a person and that you'd like to be friends with them. If you were there for them as a boyfriend/girlfriend, you can be there for them as a friend, too.

5. Tell them that you think they're great and that, for the most part, you wouldn't change a thing about them. Well, unless they're doing something really mean or stupid. An ego boost can help mend some of the leftover wounds from the breakup.

6. Avoid sexual and romantic topics and the temptation to flirt especially when you're starting the friendship. This can be tricky if you have been involved with someone romantically, but you can do it if you stay focused. You don't want to lead the other person on, and you certainly don't want them to lead you on either.

7. At first, keep your conversations and meetings short and, if possible, fun. Remind them just how great you are to hang out with. However, set limits for how often you'll talk to them and hang out with them.

8. Keep working toward your own goals. Don't fall back into negative old patterns from the relationship. Develop your own interests and encourage your ex to do the same.

9. If your ex doesn't seem interested in a friendship, you need to respect their wishes. It may be a possibility in the future, but for now, focus on your other friends.

10. Also, if your ex is not treating you with the same respect you expect of any other friend, it's not a good time to pursue a friendship with them.

Or maybe, you can tell a good friend about your efforts to be friends with your ex and ask them to look out for you. Be friendly, kind and consistent with your ex. Remind them often that you're glad they're a part of your life. Don't blow them off to hang out with your new crush. In general, be aware that they might still be feeling a bit sensitive about some aspect of the breakup and feel weird about you seeing other people. It's quite possible that your ex may not be up for a friendship. Be forgiving and move on if this is the case.

So, what's your say?

Getting him/her back.

You once let him/her go but now you want him/her back. What can you do to win back the heart of a guy/girl from your past? Is it possible to make a new start with an old love? Absolutely, without a doubt, the answer is YES!

When it comes to love what’s old can easily become something new. You already hold the advantage when trying to win back the affections of an ex, namely a pre-established connection. Your foot is in the door and as long as your willing to endure you can kick that door open once more. But there are obviously going to be some obstacles to overcome as well.

There are no guarantees in life. There are only gambles. Everything in life is a gamble, even love. However, in winning the affections of another person there are a few things that almost always guarantee results. Follow these tips to woo back your guy/girl and you just may get that second chance you’re longing for.

But remember, there is a fine line between wooing and stalking. If your efforts prove fruitless after a reasonable amount of time, if you find yourself consumed with winning him/her back at the expense of all other things, or if he/she repeatedly tells you to go away and you continue to pursue him/her you are crossing that line. Keep that in mind while following your heart and our tips and you’ll be fine.

1. Forgive and forget. Let go of the past and make a pledge to focus only on the future.

2. Apologize and mean it. Admit your mistakes and regrets and affirm your commitment to making good on past wrongs.

3. Accept that you will have to do a great deal of chasing, especially if you messed up the relationship the first time around. You will have to pull your ego in check and put your heart on the line if you are to make any progress.

4. Don’t expect him/her to come running back to you just because you are putting out signals that you want him/her again. You want him/her back and you need to do the work. Call him/her, text him/her, come to him/her and make him/her feel wanted. It is the only way.

5. Expect some rejection. When an old flame starts heating up again the person being pursued may try to get out of the fire. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he isn’t interested. It could mean that he is spooked. He may be weary of trying to be with you again out of a fear of more hurt or he/she may be in another relationship and his/her heart may be torn in which case expect more resistance than you would experience under other circumstances. For whatever reason people rarely rush back into an ex’s arms right away. Be diligent, expect some resistance and be aware that in this endeavor your ego is going to get some bruises.

6. Know when to give up. This is not so much indicated by the amount of time that has passed as it is an accurate reading of his/her true feelings. Your instincts are your best friend in this; they rarely lead you astray. Instincts often tell a truth the heart is unwilling to accept. Listen to him/her, listen to your gut and back off if one or both are adamantly telling you to.

7. Be willing to settle for less. Be willing to have him/her in your life as a friend even if he/she won’t be your boyfriend/girlfriend. There are lots of reasons why a guy/girl who cares for you will keep his/her distance after a breakup even when you are sending out all the right signals and it isn’t always as simple as him/her not wanting to be with you. Accept that (for now) friendship is all he/she has to offer you and then truly be his/her friend.

Nothing is set in stone when it comes to love and things often feel over when they really aren’t. Sometimes the greatest loves are built on strong friendships and you can never know what the future will bring. So, what's your say?

Getting over a break-up.
- Topic suggestion by PS and Unknown.

If you've just had a break-up and are feeling down, you're not alone. Just about everyone experiences a break-up at sometime, and many then have to deal with heartbreak, a wave of grief, anger, confusion, low self-esteem, and maybe even jealousy all at once.

Although the causes/reasons of breaking-up may be different, the feeling of loss is the same. Whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness.

Most people will tell you you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way. If you're experiencing these feelings, there are things you can do to lessen the pain.

1. Share your feelings.

- Some people find that sharing their feelings with someone they trust (someone who recognizes what they're going through) helps them feel better. That could mean talking over all the things you feel, even having a good cry on the shoulder of a comforting friend or family member. Others find they heal better if they hang out and do the things they normally enjoy, like seeing a movie or going to a concert, to take their minds off the hurt. If you feel like someone can't relate to what you're going through or is dismissive of your feelings, find someone more sympathetic to talk to.

2. Remember what's good about you.

- This one is really important. Sometimes people with broken hearts start to blame themselves for what's happened. They may be really down on themselves, exaggerating their faults as though they did something to deserve the unhappiness they're experiencing. If you find this happening to you, nip it in the bud! Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can't think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you.

3. Take good care of yourself.

- A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost.

4. Don't be afraid to cry.

- Going through a break-up can be really tough, and getting some of those raw emotions out can be a big help. We know this is another tough one for guys, but there's no shame in crying now and then. No one has to see you do it. Just a find a place where you can be alone, like crying into your pillow at night or in the shower when you're getting ready for the day.

5. Do the things you normally enjoy.

- Whether it's seeing a movie or going to a concert, do something fun to take your mind off the negative feelings for a while.

6. Keep yourself busy.

- Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened. Working things through in our minds is all part of the healing process. It just means you should focus on other things too.

7. Give yourself a time.

- It takes time for sadness to go away. Almost everyone thinks they won't feel normal again, but the human spirit is amazing and the heartbreak almost always heals after a while. But how long will that take? That depends on what caused your heartbreak, how you deal with loss, and how quickly you tend to bounce back from things. Getting over a break-up can take a couple of days to many weeks, and sometimes even months.

Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or even drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. Sometimes the sadness is so deep, or last so long that a person may need some extra support.

So be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin.

Confused with guys.

The above title says it all. No matter how hard we tried our best to understand guys nowadays, there is always a part that we are still confused with them, and not knowing what they really want from us, girls.

Curious with everything that i've just say? Wanna know why? Here it goes ...

Im blessed with a loving boyfriend. So far, we have absolutely no problem at all. Except for stupid little arguments and fights somewhere along the way. Since he is still in NS, he is being flexible with me. Now, what do i mean by flexible? (Take note that im not bragging or showing off about how good my boyfriend is. Im just sharing my experience with everyone.)

First of all, he gives me freedom. He allows me to go out with anybody. Be it a guy or a girl. But of course, with his knowledge and permission first. And lastly, he doesn't control me. He allows me to go anywhere i want with my friends of different gender without the need to 'report strengths' each and every minute. A simple text message that contains of 'who i'll be going out with', 'where i'll be heading to', and 'what time i'll be reaching home' will do.

Being given that kind of freedom from him, i have to make use of the trust given so that no misunderstanding will occur. Never have i thought to betray him since he allows me to go out with my guy friends. Most of my guy friends that im in contact with knows that im attached, and most of them knows him.

So yeap. I called up my boyfriend and told him that im meeting this guy friend of mine at my area. He gave me the green light, and as usual, he reminds me the same thing over and over again. "Know your limits. Don't ever do anything stupid behind my back. Take very good care of yourself." I swear, i can now memorize that particular sentence and i can even say it together with him whenever he wants to remind me.

(Lets use 'Boy' for this particular guy's name.)

After the conversation ends, my boyfriend went to sleep whereas i went down to meet Boy. My overall comments for Boy? Well, he looks like one of the typical Malay Mats who likes to wear Topman's V-neck shirt with short pants and slippers to go along with.

I met him at 2 AM sharp. First few minutes of our conversation was kinda okay. He told me about his work and about his personal matters. Well, that's the common topic for first meet-up session. While in the middle of the conversation, he started to seat closer to me. I stood up from my seat, and pretended that i wanna stretch my body.

He voiced out his opinion and told me that i was uncomfortable with him (which i was) and asked me if i wanna chill at different place instead of my void deck. I asked him where and he suggested the carpark's rooftop. The moment he told me that, i already knew what intention was he bringing together with him to meet me. I told him that the rooftop was quite haunted and i was quite afraid and it will be more comfortable if we just stay under my void deck.

Then, he asked me about my relationship status and i told him i was attached. You guys should see the reaction from his face. He was shocked. (Below is the conversation between me and him after i told him that im attached.)

Him: So i got no chance to make-out with you. Only your boyfriend could give you that.
Me: Even if he wants to give me, i don't want.
Him: Why? You will miss the pleasure that girls gets from their boyfriend.
Me: I know. But sorry, im not like those types.
Him: You can say that now. Lets see later.

I intefered the conversation by pretending to answer a phone call. After i 'ended' the phone call, i went back to him. And he continued his conversation.

Him: You feel restricted to do anything with any guy because you're attached?
Me: What anything?
Him: Those hanky-panky stuffs?

That was rude of him saying such things to me. I replied him by giving him my fake smile. Since i refused to 'entertain' him, he decided to go home. It was not even an hour the moment he wanted to leave.

The next day, i called up my boyfriend and shared about what happen to him. He laughed so hard and even told me that he was suprised guys like Boy still exist in this world.

Already get my whole point? Confusing isn't it? Where's all the Gentleman gone to? *Shakes head*

So, what's your say?

Crushing over the same guy.
- Topic suggestion by Passerby.

Yes. It is indeed very frustrating when you and your friend are crushing over the same guy. What should you do when you are in this kind of situation? Give in? Or fight for your crush?

This is a tough one. Be it your crush likes you more than your friend or vice versa. Good and true friends are hard to find and you should never end a friendship over a crush. If she is otherwise a good friend you need to buck up and treat this as one of those unfair hands that life sometimes deals. The truth of the matter is that you and this guy were never an item and throwing away a friendship over a crush is just sad.

I know it feels bad to see your friend making the moves on a guy she knows you carry a torch for but try to see things from her side for a minute. Obviously she really likes this guy too if she is willing to test the limits of your friendship by going after him so instead of seeing this as a betrayal of you try to see it as her following her own heart.

Can you honestly say you would do any less? By the sounds of things she’s watched you pine away for this guy for some time, is it possible that she has finally decided that you’re never going to act on your feelings? Maybe she has held back this long out of respect for you. You need to talk to her and see how long she has been interested in this guy before cutting her out of your life. If she’s liked him as long as you have and just never said anything about it this shows that she really does value your friendship. The least you can do is value hers in return. After all if you can’t be happy with this guy wouldn’t you like to see a friend that you love happy with him rather than some strange girl?

Love bites and unrequited love bites is hard but it’s not your friend’s fault that you and she share the same good taste in guys. Find out the whole story before you make any decisions about the friendship. How would you feel if you knew that your crush has been the one making the moves on your friend and that she has been turning him down because of you? What if you’re only noticing it now because she is finally giving in to his advances? How bad will you feel knowing you turned on a good friend over a guy who never really wanted you anyway?

We think that once the dust has settled and you start to let go of your feelings for this guy that you’ll see that good friends need to come first. Our best advice to you is that you make an effort to find out all the details. If she’s a bad friend making a play for this guy as a way to one up you then good riddance, but if she has been a good friend all along who is only guilty of finally giving in to her own feelings you should cut her a break. Just because you saw him first doesn’t make him yours and if you and he had no relationship what so ever there really is no betrayal.

Think carefully and know the whole story. Try not to think with your broken heart and instead use your mind. Good friends are like gold and you should cherish them no matter what.

So, what's your say?

Trust in relationships.
- Topic suggestion by Passerby.

We have posted about "Trust" before (http://no-controversy.blogspot.com/2010/02/trust_20.html). Nevertheless, we are going to post about this once again because we felt that trust is one of the most important factor in building a relationship.

No matter the type of relationship, be it romantic, friendly, or between parent and child, an essential ingredient is trust. Trust defines every interaction in a relationship. It builds intimacy and it strengthens bonds. Without trust no relationship can thrive. Unfortunately people don’t always cherish trust the way that they should. Because it is often given freely at first it is also easily taken for granted. When trust has been damaged it can spell doom for a relationship and it can be very hard, if not impossible, to earn back.

Whether or not trust can ever be restored depends on how badly it was damaged and how much the spurned person feels betrayed. If you have had your trust betrayed then you know how hard it can be to let go, move on and fix the relationship. More often than not the burned person just wants to cut their losses and end the relationship, and who could blame them?

But if you do want to repair the damage, if you want to salvage the relationship and rebuild trust, there are some steps you need to follow. While the person who damaged the trust has their work cut out for them in earning it back the person who was hurt also has a job to do. So how do you move past a major burn and put things back on track? It’s hard but it can be done and these three pointers can help.

1. Let your anger out.

- In a quest to save a relationship people who have been hurt often bend over backwards to please their betrayer. Why? Because when we have been betrayed or burned the person who hurts us has sent a clear message that on some level we don’t matter to them as much as they matter to us. In a rebound state of fear of loss this often translates in to the hurt party trying to earn back the other person’s good opinion. It is a knee-jerk reaction and always ends in resentment. The best way to start the healing process is to acknowledge that there has been pain, betrayal and a loss of trust.

2. Resolve to let it out and then let it go.

- Once you let your feelings out you need to let the incident go. This does not mean blind forgiveness, but there is an element of forgiveness involved in this step. If the person who hurt you apologizes and you accept then you need to never rehash the incident. Doing so will only bring back your anger and keep you in emotional limbo. Don’t bring it up as a weapon. Don’t hold it over the other person every time you feel wronged in the future. Acknowledge that it happened, make your feelings and expectations known, and then stop focusing on what damaged the trust and set your sights on rebuilding. You’re only human, you may slip up and throw the incident in the face of your betrayer and if you do don’t beat yourself up over it, apologize and move on. While this step may seem like letting the person who hurt you get off easy in reality you are making things easier on your self by allowing yourself to be hurt and moving past it.

3. Know that things can never go back to the way they once were and keep your eyes wide open to the future betrayals.

- The sad reality is that once trust has been damaged it can’t simply go back to the way it once was, no matter how much both parties may want it to. People who do not value trust enough to respect it in the first place more often than not continue that pattern in the future. This doesn’t mean that it is a waste of time trying to rebuild trust it just means that the new trust has to be different. Call it a more mature trust. While trusting a person who has hurt you isn’t impossible it will never be the same kind of wide-eyed trust we give to people when we first let them in. This is not really a bad thing even though it may seem like a loss. Seeing people for who they really are rather than through rose-colored lenses can be a healthy thing. So when you decide to try to give trust a second chance just know that you will be more sensitive to the prospect of another betrayal and forgive yourself if doubt seeps in without real reason.

If you have tried the ways based on the information given above, and your partner still don't trust you and yet he/she accused you of things such as you slept with another guy/girl or etc, there's no use holding on to the relationship. Because, without trust no relationship can thrive. Would you readers want to have a relationship with someone who doesn't believe you at all or with someone who accused you of such things that you yourself knew you didn't do it? We're sure that will be a whole lot of time wasted.

So, what's your say?

We know we've been MIA for quite some time now but to let you guys know ... WE'RE BACK! We'll be posting as much as we can like last time. We would like to extend our apologies to our dear readers for leaving dust in this blog. Fret not, No-Controversy has returned!

We're back with a new concept too! Back with fresher and juicier topics/stories. We shall be more open about everything, and shall not focus on 'Love' alone. Touching too much about 'Love' might affects those who are single, get some readers irritated, and some might even feel bored and dull.

Our most essential aim and focus of this blog - We don’t condemn, we don't discriminate, we don’t judge, we don’t hate. We are just being open-minded, and not narrow-minded. We update and share things about what is actually happening around us, and maybe some of you are not aware of it. We will remain anonymous for reasons that must be remain private.

We do not ripped from any other blogs. This is originally from our own effort. This blog was created quite a long time ago. But, we just started active recently. We really do hope to get supports from you readers.

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